Some Thoughts on Exactly How Much to Share

First off, I'm of British decent, so sharing my innermost thoughts and feelings is definitely struggle, both in words on paper, and also verbally in real life. But I've never faced something quite like this before, and I do feel that getting things down on "paper" serves several purposes.  In no particular order, I think it does the following:

1. How much to share.  I struggled with this but in the end decided that I would share as much information as possible for several reasons - so all you readers have a good idea (a full understanding) of the challenges that Karla and I face on a regular basis, and second, if I am gone at some point in later years and my children want some insight into who I am and what went on back in 2014 and forward, that a record exists that they can consult. There is some filtering going on - we share as much as possible within reason. Believe me, sharing as much as I have has been a struggle at times, but it is therapeutic to me. And hopefully it is somewhat entertaining, enlightening and has an impact on some of you, the readers,

2. Speaking of having an impact on the readers, I know that I have had an impact on some of you. I have heard directly or second hand that some of you have taken action to check with your doctors and to even go has far as having colonoscopies to address potential colon cancer earlier in your lives. I know that I always considered things like colon cancer as an older person's disease and not something I had to worry about. It has been a shock to me that several acquaintances, both of whom are younger than me, have also been fighting (and successfully holding at bay) colon cancer.  While something like a colonoscopy is not an easy process, it may be something for people to consider in their forties rather than later on in life. At a minimum, have regular physicals that include blood tests. I oftentimes wonder if I had been more prudent in taking action, I might have been able to stop this disease before it got to Stage IV.

In addition, Karla and I consider ourselves lucky that we consulted a financial advisor a few years back, and took the proper steps to cover ourselves with significant life insurance policies when we did. I do feel somewhat secure that should I pass away sooner than later, Karla and my children will be well taken care of. I have heard that some of you are also assessing your life insurance coverage for sufficiency since hearing about my challenges and I think that's great.  Do it before "the train has already left the station", so to speak. If I have one regret, I wish I had also taken out more supplemental permanent disability insurance. Luckily, my company has been open to both flexible work hours and assignments that fit within my chemo schedule. And while my health has an impact on my availability, it has not prevented me from being an active and productive member for my company.  But who is to say things won't change in the future - I know we will find a way to manage, but the extra security would have been nice.

3. In this day and age, we just don't write letters to each other anymore. I think back to my youth, when my mother and grandmother would send weekly letters to each other.  The letters would be six to eight pages long, single-spaced, on that old sky-blue tissue-like letter paper and sent by airmail across the sea from London to Ottawa each week and back again the next. Costs for making long distance phone calls on a regular basis were prohibitive so this was the most efficient and effective way for mother and daughter to keep each other up-to-date across three thousand miles of ocean.

With the advent of emails, the art of letter writing has slowly waned to nothing.  There is no permanent record of what is going on in people's life. There is also no way I could sit down and write a weekly email, let alone a weekly letter to each of you, so think of this as my personal way of sending you a letter every week or two and keeping you up-to-date on my life. I apologize for not writing it down on blue tissue paper, but hopefully this format will suffice.