The Move

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

So I have been silent for a while and I do apologize to all of you who read this blog.  So much has happened since the fourth chemo session on this second regimen of drugs.  Most of the focus has been on us moving from North Boston (Reading) to South Boston (South Walpole).  I thought I'd describe the move in one post, and then any thoughts on the two chemo sessions in another.

So the move...I think most of you are aware that Karla and I had left our permanent home in Denver a few years ago to take a temporary assignment in Vermont.  The opportunity was too good to pass up in this line of work - instead of having to fly out Monday and fly back Thursday, Karla, Isla and I would all be together in one place, and I would drive home from work each day.  The assignment itself was a good step-up for me to, running a full project as Project Manager. So RSI got us temporary housing in Vermont and we stayed there through last summer (2013).

The Vermont project was winding down at that time so I started commuting Monday to Thursday to Boston to work on a project there. Eventually, Karla and Isla also moved down in early November, 2013 and we had temporary housing in Reading, MA.  Everything worked well for a couple of months until I got sick in late December.  Decisions had to be made, and we determined that for my health, Boston, with the Dana-Farber Clinic would be the best place to make our permanent home, rather than move back to Denver. Boston, especially North Boston, is a tough place to find a reasonably priced home, so we focused our efforts to the Southwest. We found a great place that needed some work and pursued it for a good three months until the price came down to a reasonable number. We took possession on July 31, with a move-in date scheduled for Thursday, August 28.

There really was not a lot to do to prepare for the move.  We hadn't unpacked almost a third of our stuff, that still lay packed in boxes in our garage.  In addition, RSI was helping with the packing cost so we really didn't have to worry about getting stuff ready.  The packers would do that for us.

We went with a moving company named Gentle Giant, and I cannot recommend them more highly.  The packing and the move were handled professionally and with great care. The funny thing was the staff themselves - generally good-looking guys of college age wearing muscle shirts with the company logo.  I think Karla, Amarilis and even my Mom stole some extra glances here and there!!  I forgot to mention that my parents came down to assist with the move.  My brother and his family were also supposed to come down, but unfortunately, an illness in the family kept them up in Ottawa.

So they packed up most stuff on Wednesday, August 27th, and actually loaded a lot of the stuff in the first truck.  They left our beds so we were able to sleep at home in Reading that night without worrying about a hotel...well, except for Mom and Dad.  The Reading house is just not big enough for guests to sleep over comfortably, as Amarilis uses the extra bedroom.  Think of it as a "corporate townhome".  It was going to be sad to leave the pool behind that lay in the center of the complex.  Isla had made a lot of friends there, and that had lead to Karla also making some friends with the children's parents.  Unfortunately, we are all transient, and most of those friends had moved on or would also be moving on like us.   I think Karla is going to stay in touch with some of the parents she met. We hope Isla makes some good friends in our new neighborhood.  There do seem to be some little kids about but without a pool as a focal point, meeting them will be somewhat random. 

Moving day on August 28th went smoothly. Everything was packed and loaded into the two moving trucks by noon, and our convoy headed down I-95. The movers were able to unpack everything with extremely minimal damage (one old bookshelf) and the unpacking began in earnest.  I can't fault the movers for labeling but trying to find certain things that first night was a struggle (nail clippers for instance were not logged as a separate item in a Master Bathroom box so we had no idea where they were - go figure??? sarcasm was definitely intended in that sentence!!).

The contractors had done a FANTASTIC job on the house.  It was about 85% complete but definitely in good enough shape for us to move in.  Every room had been repainted, and all of the floors on the first and second floor had been replaced by oak hardwood, with an amazing dark stain.  I could not believe this was my house we were looking at.  They had remodeled the kitchen, inserting new cabinets and counter tops and it looked beautiful.  We had pretty much not done anything else because costs are extreme for remodeling.  Maybe down the road we will get that nice Master Bath...

On the ground floor are a dining room, family room, living room, open foyer, kitchen, powder room (no m ore having to go upstairs or down stairs to go to the bathroom - whoopee!!!  It sounds petty, but it does make a difference.  Also a bedroom and bathroom for Amarilis.

On the second floor are a bedroom for Isla, a bedroom for Graeme, a bathroom that they will share, and then a Master bedroom with its own bathroom and walk-in closet. Also, an office where I will work, with an additional doorway inside that leads to stairs up to the third floor.  We have some gripes with how the owners spent their money on the house...seriously, no AC???  But the third floor, essentially the attic, finished and fully carpeted is awesome.  We plan to use it as a guest room for now, as well as an area where Karla can do her sewing.

We also have a basement, unfinished, with tons of space for storage, and with the potential to be finished in the future.  Probably a long time down the road, to be honest.  I have to give thanks again to my parents, without whose support we could never have afforded the house, and Karla's parents for giving us the financial backing to remodel the kitchen.  We were so scared we'd have to rent in Boston, and with rents close to $3,500 for the type of townhome we'd need (forget about a house), we just saw our finances going by-by.

So over the holiday weekend through yesterday, Mom, Dad, Karla and I started attacking all of the boxes needing unpacking.  My parents amazed me, over 75 and lifting, moving, putting stuff together  (yes, we did buy some Ikea stuff, I think an Aufgurshiltblat kitchen table with chairs, and the Blausperfunktsind wardrobe for Amarilis' room (she had no closet)). Dad took them on with flair and applied all of his engineering skills in putting them together, and re-acquainting himself with an Allan key. We'd also taken delivery of a new washer/dryer, dishwasher, and fridge from Sears.  For some reason, they felt that a white fridge would go better with the other stainless steel appliances (I mean, that's so obvious, right?).  And when we pointed out the discrepancy, they discovered the stainless steel version had been discontinued. So we are using the white fridge until that time when Sears can give us a stainless steel fridge that is comparable to what we should have been given.

So we have made several Ikea runs, many runs to Lowe's and Home Depot, and have really got the house looking good.  We have some additional furniture for the family room (a sectional couch) as well as dining room table to come from Jordan's, a big retailer up here in Boston.  They should come around  mid-September.  Then we can move my 2001 single guy stuff to the front living room.

How have I done, as a cancer patient, trying to deal with all this??  I think the best answer is good and bad. I have surprised myself by how much I have been able to do.  Each day, we got up around 8 had breakfast, and as long as I took a couple of Oxycodone (again not Oxycontin) pills every four hours or so, I would feel some rejuvenation, and be able to continue working. I have not experienced any negative feelings, and when I go to chemo tomorrow to start session 7, I think I'm in as good as shape as I've been in since this whole curtain dropped down all over me.

On the negative side, I've really become somewhat of an asshole when responding to people. I am short with Karla and my parents, and Have said some mean things sometimes, and my filters have not been up when Isla is around (ie. she hears me whining at Karla or Dad).  After the fact, I feel terrible, but I can't seem to control my emotions and what I am saying in the moment. I am really going to try and focus on controlling this side of me (which at this level, has never existed before) so I stop hurting the people I love. 

Also, my memory and how I am processing what people say to me is not quite where it should be. I remember some things completely different from how Karla or my parent remember things, mainly around conversations.  Also, my Dad may ask me a question, and I completely misunderstand what was asked.  Before any of you say that it's because of his "Weegee" accent, I am having similar problems with Karla.  I have to really stop and focus on what people tell me sometimes (not all the time).  I'm fine when I sit down at a computer and can think things through, but again, it's conversationally that I am having problems).  That may also be leading to some of the issues I described in the previous paragraph.

I'll talk to Dr. Wolpin at Dana-Farber about this tomorrow.  Hopefully he can shed some insight on these issues.  Karla thinks I have so many drugs going in and out of my system, that it's no wonder I have problems.

I think this is where I will sop this post.  If I'm feeling up to it, I may write about some of my experiences in the past two sessions when I am hooked up to the machines tomorrow.  However, I have found it difficult on this second regimen to focus on things (like training courses from work) while I have been hooked up.  I dread tomorrow, mainly because of the cold sweats.  They will be with me from when I leave the hospital at two pm to two am or so.  Not a lot of sleep to be had.

Goodbye all and talk soon