I'm listening to Isla sing in the shower.  She is always singing something and it makes my heart melt.

Today was a difficult day, I hate to be a debbie downer, but it was unexpected.

I woke up happy with a smile on my face and two kids in my bed, which is usual these days. We had to get out of the house by 10am for a private showing so I took the kids to breakfast.  We headed to the local IHOP and on the way I heard our wedding song on the radio. "When the Stars go Blue," by U2 and the Coors. However this was on a country station and it was sung by Tim McGraw. My heart sank and hurt at the same time. I never hear this song on the radio, it's obsure. But since my decision to move to Denver I've heard it more frequently. (I hope this is a sign from Andrew telling me I'm doing the right thing) When I hear the song, it just makes me think about all that he's missing and how much I miss him.  I miss his companionship his sense of humor and his love. I still at times don't even think it's real, like it's still a bad dream.

I aslo heard the song while house hunting in Denver.  My mom and I got in the car and I was on. I lost it, this was the first time I'd heard it randomly since he had passed. I remember the day we decided on that song like it was yesterday.  When we first started dating, I would take Andrew's Ipod and listen to the song over and over and over again.  He was such a good sport, only mildly teasing me about it.  But when we had to pick out our first dance song for the wedding it was initially a struggle.  We sat and talked and talked about this song and that song blah blah, and then his face lit up.  He took his ipod and he played "When the Stars go Blue," I cried and he laughed.  We both knew that was "our" first dance song.


There is some interest in the house, no offers yet. We have another showing scheduled for tomorrow, I do hope someone makes me an offer soon.  It's so difficult to keep the house spotless and empty. I don't even have my toaster oven on the counter.

I am conflicted about the move, on one hand my heart is in Denver.  I love it there, and really want to be near chosen family.  On the other hand, I hate to leave this house and the schools.  Massachusetts has the best schools in the nation, and leaving that worries me. Also the whole idea of moving is daunting, even thought I feel I'm an expert on the subject.  However, I know that I will be very happy anywhere I decided to live. Fingers cross, I get a bidding war on my house and all will be well.

The weather is supposed to be warmer this week, and Isla has a week off from school. I'm planning on taking the kids to the beach.  It should be a fun time, exhausting I'm sure.

It has been forever since my last blog post.  I'm not sure I will be able to sum it all up before my hands cramp. :)

So much has transpired since March 6th, we've been to Denver twice and Las Vegas once.  Our Au Pair has decided to leave us, and we have listed the house in Walpole. Well isn't that funny, I just summed up our past two months in two sentences. Okay I will elaborate.


On March 25th, we left Boston (both kids mildly sick) and flew to Denver for two weeks.  We split the vacation and flew to Las Vegas to met up with a college roommate and her family.  The actual flight from Boston to Denver was great. Isla is a seasoned flyer and Graeme is earning his wings. No issues to report. However the night before we left I had an emotional breakdown. I was sitting on the bed crying, panicking about the flights and feeling lost without Andrew. At that moment Jenny called.  Normally I wouldn't have picked up the phone, but something told me to answer.  I was so glad I did.  She listened to me cry, and put a plan into action. Instead of renting a car, she would come and pick us up at the Airport. To quote Pam, "Jenny is an angel on earth," I feel so blessed to have her as a friend.

Okay so the flight was fine, the pick up was great, and the kids were still sick. And they were getting worse. We were in Denver for 4 days before leaving for Vegas and the day before we left, I took the kids to the Urgent Care.  Doctor said they were nasty colds, but nothing that wouldn't heal on its own.

Lets fast forward a week and two emergency room visits later, both kiddos had double ear infections. Nightmare.

Vegas was filled with sleepless nights, crying kids and lots of sunshine.  The weather was amazing and I did actually get some color. The company was great, nothing like old friends, who know you better than yourself. :)

That sums up the Vegas/Denver trip.

But something happened on that trip, I felt the urge to move back to Denver. As soon as I landed, I felt like I was home. I felt Andrew's presence more than I do here in Mass and it just felt right. I've spent most of my adult life on Pacific or Mountain time and it just feels like where I need to be.  (Andrew and I had talked about moving back to Denver once he stopped traveling and the kids started grade school.)

This leads us to the house that we just bought in July here in Walpole to be listed on the MLS May 7th.  I called our realtor from Denver and explained that I wanted to be near friends.  My support network is out there and I just felt like I was in warm happy place. This wasn't and isn't an easy decision. Boston is a great place to raise kids, and a great place to live. It would be a whole lot easier if I was living in a small po dunk town with bad schools and a high crime rate.  However, if the house doesn't sell then we wont be moving anywhere.

This choice started a domino effect. Amarilis who has been our au pair for the past year and signed on for another year, decided she didn't want to move to Denver. This was after she agreed to move with us, but what  I did not know, but she was dating a man for the past 5 months. They met on the common in Boston, and fell in love.  He proposed and now she is getting married. We will miss her dearly, she really helped me get through one of the toughest times in my life.

Lets just keep adding things to my plate. Bring it on!

I've interviewed Au Pairs for the past week and no one has really impressed me until tonight!!
Yes we have matched with a new Au Pair from Mexico.  She is adorable and I got that "feeling" that she would be a perfect fit. Fingers crossed!

Okay I'm off to bed just wanted to update everyone.