I'm listening to Isla sing in the shower.  She is always singing something and it makes my heart melt.

Today was a difficult day, I hate to be a debbie downer, but it was unexpected.

I woke up happy with a smile on my face and two kids in my bed, which is usual these days. We had to get out of the house by 10am for a private showing so I took the kids to breakfast.  We headed to the local IHOP and on the way I heard our wedding song on the radio. "When the Stars go Blue," by U2 and the Coors. However this was on a country station and it was sung by Tim McGraw. My heart sank and hurt at the same time. I never hear this song on the radio, it's obsure. But since my decision to move to Denver I've heard it more frequently. (I hope this is a sign from Andrew telling me I'm doing the right thing) When I hear the song, it just makes me think about all that he's missing and how much I miss him.  I miss his companionship his sense of humor and his love. I still at times don't even think it's real, like it's still a bad dream.

I aslo heard the song while house hunting in Denver.  My mom and I got in the car and I was on. I lost it, this was the first time I'd heard it randomly since he had passed. I remember the day we decided on that song like it was yesterday.  When we first started dating, I would take Andrew's Ipod and listen to the song over and over and over again.  He was such a good sport, only mildly teasing me about it.  But when we had to pick out our first dance song for the wedding it was initially a struggle.  We sat and talked and talked about this song and that song blah blah, and then his face lit up.  He took his ipod and he played "When the Stars go Blue," I cried and he laughed.  We both knew that was "our" first dance song.


There is some interest in the house, no offers yet. We have another showing scheduled for tomorrow, I do hope someone makes me an offer soon.  It's so difficult to keep the house spotless and empty. I don't even have my toaster oven on the counter.

I am conflicted about the move, on one hand my heart is in Denver.  I love it there, and really want to be near chosen family.  On the other hand, I hate to leave this house and the schools.  Massachusetts has the best schools in the nation, and leaving that worries me. Also the whole idea of moving is daunting, even thought I feel I'm an expert on the subject.  However, I know that I will be very happy anywhere I decided to live. Fingers cross, I get a bidding war on my house and all will be well.

The weather is supposed to be warmer this week, and Isla has a week off from school. I'm planning on taking the kids to the beach.  It should be a fun time, exhausting I'm sure.